everyday epiphanies

Because this shit is empty and I didn’t want to post it on facebook.
Oh and I was procrastinating running 10 miles / studying for my exam.

1. I am afraid of worms. Not really afraid but I just highly dislike them and I find them unnatural. I don’t like things that seem unnatural. I get jumpy when I see them. I never had this problem until I went to Rutgers and I was always able to tolerate them before. Heck I used to play with them when I was four!!!!! I dunno… I just find them unnatural and thinking about them… kinda makes me wanna hurl and have a panic attack 

2. I like to eat. Which is not really a random fact, but a known fact. I eat anything in front of me. Even if I’m not hungry. I think it’s due to my oral fixation ( yeah yeah lets get the dirty jokes out of the way.. but im serious I just like the act of eating itself) During summer school, my friend would be amazed at how much food I was able to pack and eat for only an 80 min class. During sophomore year of college, my roommate never saw me without food in my mouth or me preparing food and now at work, another friend would always catch me eating.

3. Purple is my proclaimed favorite color. But I actually hated it until I did some psychological thing where I forced myself to like it. It happened in highschool. My friends made this art club where they drew anime and brainstormed manga ideas. In true anime fashion, each person had their own color and nickname ( blue, red, & green). I wanted to get in on the fun and I had ideas swirling in my head for mangas! But their rationalization as to why im not part of their special club was because I didn’t have a set color or a set nickname ( Oh and I totally sucked at drawing manga!). Well one day, my bookbag broke and I had to resort to his awful barney looking one strap bag from the Gap. I was railed… so I turned a negative into a positive. And so I used to try to get into the club! But you needed actual talent and skill which I didn’t quite have.. so fail.

4. I sleep with a stuffed toy penguin at night. It looks mad old, like I’ve had it since I was 4. I’ve had it since I was 15. I used to fight with my 5 year old brother about who gets to sleep with Mr. Penguin. I was dedicated to my man. My brother’s 13 now and to piss me off, he tries and steal Mr. Penguin and occasionally threatens to throw him to Snowball, my ravage Papillion dog. (that dog tore apart the stuff toy I really did have since I was 4… asshole pup!)

5. I procrastinate. A lot. It frustrates me that I don’t find the motivation to work at a timely manner. I wish I was better at that. But thinking of it makes me want to procrastinate more.

6. I’m stubborn beyond belief. I hate being told what to do. If you want me to do something, manipulate me into believing it’s something I want to do. But I’ll probably do what you want me to do…. Eventually because I need to convince myself that I want to do it.

7. I lack follow through. I have great ideas and fantastic ambitions, but I’m my own worst enemy. I guess I’m so afraid at failing at those things I want to do, that it’s not worth the jump off.

8. I’m a huge hypocrite. I can admit it at least. I try to stay consistent but I have this problem where I just want to agree with people and make them happy and tell them what they want to hear, that I’ll say yes to one thing and one person, and then I’ll say yes to another thing and another person that completely contradicts what I agreed to earlier. It’s weird

9. I like the number eight. I think it’s better than the number 9. Eight is infinity. No beginning, no end.

10. I probably spend about 40% of my day on facebook. It’s a procrastination tool I use. I told you have a jump off problem and facebook is my medium for failure. I even gave it up for lent one year in hopes that I would free myself from its evil clutches… did not happen.

11. I do this weird thing, where I try to use commonly used phrases like “I don’t leave any stone unturned” but I mess it up because I don’t quite remember them correctly and instead I say “I don’t leave any corner unturned”. In fact sometimes, I have to google the correct phrase before I say it. Because I look like such a fool by messing up these phrases!

12. When I’m drunk… I magically know all the words to most Red Hot Chili Peppers songs and maybe even Bon Jovi songs. I hate Bon Jovi. I love the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but singing along to them is hard!

13. To further explain number 12, I can’t remember a lyric for the life of me. Even if I drill the chorus, I can still manage to fuck it up and make up my own words.

14. I used to play the violin and the piano. I secretly wish my parents weren’t typical Asians and constantly nagged me on playing and practicing. Honestly, what the fuck did they know? I know that it doesn’t good, I did not need you telling me that I had to practice more because I sounded awful. You just made me not want to practice. I quit because of them. I kinda hold a grudge against them for that.

15. I wish I had more friends so when I want to get away and go on vacation, I’ll have people to go with.

16. I don’t clean up. It’s another part of my procrastination. I know that it’ll get messy again, so why bother?

17. I don’t sleep on a bed. I sleep on a sofa. My parents don’t love me. 

18. I love to watch movies, but I hate watching movies twice unless I really like it or it’s on one of those movie channels. I won’t pay for a movie twice and I will not suggest getting a movie from blockbuster if I’ve already seen it. If it does happen, I will be talking for the entire movie.

19. I secretly wish to quit my job and open up a bakery. Too bad I a) don’t have good baking skills and b) have amazing eating skills… but that means that I’ll eat all that I bake.

20. The friends I have in high school, barely talk to me now. I guess it was college, personality changes and various drama that happened amongst each other. A part of me wishes that we can let that all be water under the bridge… but let’s just say I’m not losing sleep over them not calling me. I’m pretty apathetic about it now at this point.

21. I judge people. Absolutely. But then I get over my judgements and let the people either prove me wrong… or unfortunately prove me right. This is a bad quality because I have missed out on many possible friendships because of my judgements. And it actually put me (and still puts me) in awkward positions with many of the people I interact with.

22. I used to do muay thai. I got my ass kicked by a Spanish chick who was about 5 inches shorter than me and three years younger than me. Then we had rematch… she still kicked my ass, but not as hard as before. I held my own. xD

23. I don’t like milk chocolate. I like dark chocolate. Milk chocolate is too sweet and after awhile its disgusting.

24. Yeah I eat cereal! I can eat that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. SPECIAL K! BASIC 4!!! HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS!!! wtF –notices cereal box is empty- .. MA where’s my fucking cereal?!?!?! (yes everyone I’m referencing my favorite youtube clip haha) But in all seriousness, I think I like cereal more than I like rice.

25. Because Kara asked for a shout out. Brower breakfast is the shit. Fuck all of you haters. There’s nothing better in the morning other than greasy bacon and questionable looking omelette mix to make that hang over go away. <3 oh and breakfast is probably about the only thing I can cook. Omelettes, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, you name it and I can whip it up like nothing. Legit meals like steak and chicken franchaise are beyond me.